In this series, Foundation for Transformation, we are considering the qualities that cultivate an environment in our ATC ministries where transformation can take place. So far in this series we have discussed love, respect and authenticity. Today we take a look at being present. Think of these characteristics as “air quality control.” What is the condition of the air that our students are breathing inside our ministries? Is the air toxic or apathetic? Or, is it healthy and life-giving? 

I think that we  quickly recognize that most of these qualities overlap in some way. Being present communicates love and respect. Being present digs a little deeper into the practical expression of these things. So what does it mean to be present and what steps can you take to develop the relationship skill of being fully present? 

When you have a conversation with someone, where are you at? Physically your body is there with them but are you present mentally, emotionally and as Spirit-filled believers, spiritually?

Have you ever been reading a book and realize that you don’t even know what you read the last two pages? That is an example of NOT being present. Where are you right now as you read this article? Where are your thoughts? Where are your emotions? Where are you spiritually? Truth be told, you are probably in several places. Music, a video or other distractions that want your attention. You’re probably scanning the article and not fully reading it, to see if it captures your interest. You’re thinking about several things that you need to be doing or would rather be doing. Your emotions and spirit are filled with your own stresses and struggles. Can you put all of that aside for just 5 minutes and give your complete attention to what this article is saying and what God wants to speak to you through it?

How much more important are our students and other people in our lives than this article? Dumb question, yet we do the same with them and others in our lives; we check out. We are physically present but are we really there? Our thoughts and emotions checked out and went on a trip. How do we keep our thoughts, emotions, and attention focused when engaged in conversations?

Here are a few practical things to do physically to help you give your full attention.

• Put away or close all of your electronics; put them out of sight and ignore them.
• Point your feet in the direction of the person you are talking to. Pointing them away from the person you are talking to indicates that you don’t want to be there.
• Have great eye communication. Don’t stare coldly at them but also don’t be looking away or at other things; communicate with your eyes that you are focused on them and what they are saying.
• What about the rest of your body language? Folded arms, fidgeting hands, etc. What are they communicating to the other person about your engagement with them?
• If needed, go to someplace quiet with no distractions.

Those physical actions will begin to help you focus. Then, what emotional and mental action do you take to bring focus?

• In your heart and mind, pray for the person. Ask God, “Father help me to listen with no judgement or selfish emotion.
• Don’t be thinking about what you need to do or wish you were doing.
• Don’t have your own agenda, trying to say what you want to say or to debate them. “Oh, I have a story to tell you, let me tell you.”
• Think, this moment is about them not me. Remember you are the only Jesus some people will ever meet.
• Set aside or empty your personal stress and thoughts. Don’t worry, they will still be there when you’re done. I know this may sound “New Agey” but is really about learning to focus. Can we live out Philippians 2:3 even for a moment, “…in humility value others above yourselves?”

Consider all the benefits, the positive results, the fruit, of learning to be present. Such things as,

• Bringing calmness,
• Focus and clarity,
• Diminishes the chance of missing something important,
• Hear someone’s heart and emotions; you will hear what is not being said verbally,
• You can hear from God and respond more appropriately if needed,
• Provides opportunities to partner with the work & power of the Holy Spirit.

Discuss – Evaluate – Execute

• When you sit and try to be quiet what do your thoughts and emotions do? Where do your thoughts go? How do you react/respond physically?
• Have you ever been trying to talk to someone and you know they are not present, not fully paying attention to you?
• How did they communicate that they were not present with their actions or words?
• How did that make you feel?  
• Do you really want to treat others that way? Those are the thing we want to learn not to do!
• How else can these principles be applied with your devotions, your spouse, staff meetings, church services, and with others?
• Learn to spend quiet time with the Father with no agenda, just setting in his presence.
• What other fruit is produced both short and long term by being present?