In the last article “Hey…That’s not fair”, we discussed the fact that we deal with each student differently in disciplinary or conflict situations because they are individuals, they are each handled differently.
When dealing with students in disciplinary situations, what is it that we hope is accomplished? What is the purpose; what is the goal? Do we wish to punish them so that they suffer for what they have done? Do we want to make them an example so as to strike fear in the hearts of the students? Is our goal to get them to obey us and outwardly conform to the rules? Although in our impatience, we often wish students would just do what we tell them, we know that’s not our ultimate goal.
I believe our desire for our students is the same that God has for all of us. We want our students to know the Father, to be in relationship with Him. That all starts with surrendering our lives to Him. I think the beatitudes paint the picture of the surrender needed for true life-transformation to occur, starting with “blessed are the poor in spirit…” and “blessed are those who mourn…” (Matthew 5:3, 4) The realization of our emptiness, our need, our sin, our lack of ability to ever find an answer within ourselves is our starting point.
So, it starts with owning our sin and taking responsibility for our actions.
- Yes, that’s me.
- No excuses.
- No blaming anyone else.
David models this heart posture perfectly in Psalm 51. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)
The following scriptures address this acceptance of our sin and repentance.
2 Corinthians 7:10
“For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
1 John 1:8-9
“If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
Forgiveness, and transformation can take place only when this happens. Forgiveness – true forgiveness is provided for, ONLY in Christ. We are to confess our sin before Him and receive His gift of grace and mercy.
Luke 24: 46-47
And he said, “Yes, it was written long ago that the Messiah would suffer and die and rise from the dead on the third day. It was also written that this message would be proclaimed in the authority of his name to all the nations, beginning in Jerusalem: ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent.
Our desire is to see our students take full responsibility for their actions, humble themselves before God and accept His forgiveness. This is the first step down the path of life-transformation.
We must always remember that it is the role of the Holy Spirit to convict the students (and us) of sin. That is not the job of the staff – so stop trying!
John 16:8
“He (The Holy Spirit) will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.”
Our primary job is to pray and seek God’s presence and work in the hearts and lives of your students.
So, when working with the students in those times of confrontation, it is important that we remember the goal we really want to see and then ask ourselves “Is the way I am handling this situation helping them accept responsibility and connect to Christ?” We cannot control how they respond but we can control our actions and words in the situation. They may not respond as we hope, but may we not forget the true goal when discussing the situation with the student and when making disciplinary decisions.
Father, help us to honor you and do our part to reveal Christ to our students and help them know You.
