In Understanding the Times Dr. Jimmy Lee relates eight qualities that are necessary for any person to be effective in helping relationships. When used successfully these core conditions can benefit all relationships. These qualities are a process requiring practice. We have reviewed five of the eight qualities:
Today we look at the sixth quality: Concreteness
Dr Lee Says:
This quality is used to help move a person from generalities of a discussion to the specific areas of need. It is common for an individual with a life-controlling problem to provide the presenting problem before giving the real problem. The truth often comes in bits and pieces before all the facts are assembled. Gary Sweeten in his work on the eight core conditions of helping states:
There are some basic principles which come through the Scripture in a very consistent manner. One of those principles is this: be sure to take all the facts into consideration prior to deciding a major course of action (this implies using concreteness.) There are numerous proof texts to support the conclusion that concreteness is important.
There are some who believe that living by faith demands that we ignore the facts of life. However, Biblical faith enables us to look squarely at the facts and yet have faith in God’s deliverance, mercy, and power (66).
Initially Teen Challenge students can be vague and evasive. Many, in fact, are still in denial about their problems. But it is important to get the students to see the real issues in their lives. Concreteness means getting to the specifics. What is the real issue? As is often said in Teen Challenge ministry, the use of drugs and alcohol is the surface problem – the presenting problem. Dealing with sin and other corresponding issues that are underlying the addiction is key to students overcoming their addictions.
However, don’t be too quick to try and categorize and label a student. Doing so can cause you to jump to conclusions about a student and consider the problems solved and closed. Consequently you do not continue to be listening, attentive and discerning. As you ask questions and listen to the student and get to know them, you gain their trust, thus, encouraging the student to a deeper level of transparency and willingness to be specific about their problems.
The goal is to get the student to see and confess to the specific problems and needs in his/her life, but often you will need to state the problem clearly to the student, which means you can not “beat around the bush”. It has been my experience that with most Teen Challenge students you must be very specific, blunt and repetitive about the real issues in their life. Did I mention being repetitive?
Concreteness (being specific) is also vital for the student with regards to planning and goal setting.
Think about it:
- Do you give time and attention to hear out the student so that you accurately identify and address the real problem?
- Do you work to get the student to own his specific problems?
- Do you work with the student to ensure he/she develops concrete goals and actions plans?
