In the last e-newsletter (Moments that Matter – Dealing with Disrespect-Part 1) we took a look at some of the possible root causes of disrespect.  Click here to read the first article, if you missed it.  In this article we will look at some expressions of disrespect and in the next e-newsletters we will look at disrespect prevention and healthy responses to disrespect.

One thought before we look at expressions of disrespect. After I published the last article on causes, one other source of disrespect that we need to keep in mind occurred to me. It is an important one: Conviction. Conviction and the distress that accompanies it, especially the self-created inner-distress that results when a person attempts to ignore or run from conviction, can be a source of disrespect. As an evangelical Pentecostal ministry, we expect students to be under the conviction of the Holy Spirit prior to conversion when they have unconfessed sin.  They may not know why they are struggling the way they are but the inner turmoil may be expressed as disrespect or in many other different ways. This topic should be an entire article on its own! Now onto expressions of disrespect…

An attitude of disrespect can be expressed in many different ways including anything from aggressive outbursts to subtle expressions, large and loud to small and quiet.

Consider the following possible expressions of disrespect. This list is adapted from Dr. Lucian Leape.

• Disruptive behavior is extreme and shocking conduct such as angry outbursts, verbal threats, demeaning comments; swearing; throwing or breaking objects, bullying, shaming and condemning or criticizing staff, often in front of others, and the threat or infliction of physical force or contact. Or it may be a blatant and flagrant disobedience to a rule. And by their body language they are saying “What are you gonna do about it?”
• Humiliating or demeaning treatment is more subdued than disruptive behavior. It is not an extreme outburst but rather it involves patterns of behavior that include ignoring staff, sarcasm, insensitive jokes or remarks, making faces to other students when staff aren’t looking. They humiliate or demean staff and other students, especially in front of others.
• Passive-aggressive behavior includes negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to requests or instructions. They refuse to do tasks or deliberately delay responding, making others wait on them. They can be critical of authority and others. They may go out of their way to make others look bad while acting innocent.
• Passive disrespect involves uncooperative behaviors that are not overtly mean. Often it means that they just do nothing. These students may express disrespect by being chronically late, responding slowly to requests, and or unwillingness to cooperate and work as a team with others. They may show no interest in positive change and growth.
• Dismissive treatment of staff is expressed by being flippant or indifferent towards staff and others, thus making it very difficult to work with them. Students may shrug you off or roll their eyes.

These are only a few general ideas about disrespect. By the very nature of the TC ministry, disrespect will always be a challenge. A challenge that we must be willing to develop positive skills in dealing with so that we are not pulled into angry reactions that are not only unfruitful but detrimental to the student we are dealing with and to the ministry as a whole. By God’s grace and wisdom we must seek out practical ways to deal with disrespect.

I would like to point out that we should not only be on the watch for disrespect expressed directly to us but more importantly disrespect for other staff and students as well. We should not tolerate or encourage disrespect by overlooking it, laughing at it or becoming a willing party to it. Think about it.

Check out the trailer for a new Christian movie out this spring called “Camp”. Consider the two points we have covered so far: root causes of disrespect and expressions of disrespect. http://www.thecampmovie.com/video/CAMPtrailerMobile.mp4 or visit http://thecampmovie.com/pages/photos.html and click on “Watch Trailer #1”