Biblical Counseling – part 3

by Dr. Tori Ferrari

In the last article, we took a close look at the focus of Biblical Counseling to help counselees replace unrighteous habits with righteous ones while renewing their mind with the Word of God.  In this article will address two common errors made by many counselors – Christian and secular alike – but principles upon which Biblical Counseling is grounded.Biblical counseling does not focus on feelings

You are driving along, enjoying your favorite worship song on the radio.  You are calm, at peace and enjoying your morning.  Suddenly, a car cuts you off.  Your feelings of peace and calm went right out the window and have been replaced by anger and fear.  You may even be fighting the urge to express your emotions to the other driver but you refrain. The remainder of your drive is filled with thoughts of everything you would like to say if given the opportunity and your peace is shattered.  This scenario has probably happened to each one of us.  In one moment – your feelings changed.  Valid or not – your feelings went from calm and peaceful in one moment to angry in the next.   Your feelings are based on the circumstances you were in instead of in Who abides in you.  We are all guilty.

Our hearts are fickle.  Jeremiah 17:9 says: “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; Who can know it?”  It is based upon this Scripture that Biblical counselors choose to not focus on the feelings of those we counsel but rather search for the wrong thinking behind the feelings.

Too often counselors will focus on how a person is feeling.  Our feelings are not the problem.  In fact, most times our feelings are God’s way of pointing out that we need to change something in our thinking or in our actions.

Feelings begin with thoughts.  If those thoughts have been conceived out of our sinful desires we should not be surprised when we experience feelings of sadness, depression, guilt, shame, persecution and unrighteous anger.   If those thoughts have been conceived out of a twisted understanding of who we are and who God is, we will experience a feeling of rejection, victimization, hatred, unforgiveness or loss of control.  The list goes on.  Our students may feel a great number of emotions but our focus should be on the root sin issue or wrong thinking behind those feelings instead of the feelings themselves. Biblical counselors acknowledge the feelings but move quickly beyond the feeling to identify the root.  Upon discovering the root, they will help the counselee see the cause and effect.  Wrong thinking leads to wrong action which will lead to wrong feelings.  

This is not to say that all emotions are bad.  God created us as emotional beings able to enjoy a wide range of feelings as part of our human experience.  Jesus had feelings (although never sinful).   Many times that feeling is connected to conviction – a necessary feeling to bring about repentance.  If we begin to dwell on the feeling without an understanding of the motivation behind that feeling (conviction leading to repentance) than we miss a great opportunity to help them become more like Christ.  We should encourage those we counsel to enjoy emotion but teach them to recognize the feelings that point to an issue God is trying to get our attention on.

Biblical counselors give counsel

Biblical counselors are not ones to simply listen but rather actively engage in sharing biblical Truth with those they counsel.  They must proactively help the counselee identify the lies they have believed about God, their sin and themselves in order to recognize Truth.  Paul did not sit idly by while he listened to the problems the people in Corinth were experiencing and allow them to arrive at their own conclusions.  Like our students, they had a history of arriving at the wrong conclusions on their own.

No.  He responded to them by speaking Truth.  He gave them wise counsel.  He pointed their sin out to them and counselled them on how they should be living as Christ followers.  He gave advice not based upon his observations or the guesses of others but on the Word of God alone.  It was his desire, as it should be ours, that those he spoke to assume responsibility, confess, and seek forgiveness in Christ for their sin and begin to walk in a way pleasing to God.

He knew that they did not have the resources within themselves to forgive their own sin or walk in new life.  Neither do our students.Think about it Why is focusing on the feelings of others a bad approach to helping them Biblically? Secular counselors are told NOT to give counsel.  Biblical counselors are told to give counsel. Why do you think there is a difference between these two and what is that difference?  

Dr. Ferrari is the director of Teen Challenge Springboard Home for Girls in Tucson, AZ.