I want to share with you a recent email I received from a fellow TC staff member and my response to him
Dear Brother Allen,
I know we don’t really know each other and maybe that is what makes this a little easier to write to you about. I’ve been a staff member for teen challenge for 10 months now and I’m having a difficult time right now. A student who has been on my caseload for about 4 months just left earlier today. He left with another brother who came here to do restoration. I’m angry. I feel hurt and frustrated. He was a good guy and I really poured my heart into him. I believe to be effective in this ministry I have to truly love these men and be committed to serving them and sharing the love of Christ with them. But it is hard to keep an open heart even as these men that I’m trying to help turn away and give up. It hurts to lose them and I’m trying to find a balance where I can continue to share my heart with them in a real way while not being discouraged by those who leave. It’s painful to love someone and watch them go back to what may kill them. I never knew how much it costs to serve in ministry. And I don’t know if I’m cut out for this but, I can’t just walk either. The need is just too great to turn away.
Thanks for listening, God Bless!
Dear fellow TC sojourner,
There are not very many times I can say this but I can, with honesty, say it now – I have been where you are. I will never forget after being at TC for about 6 months or so that I went into the director’s office with tears running down my face because of the exact same reason you have described. You are not alone.
I thank God for the heart of compassion and love for souls that He has burdened you with. I have come to believe that one of the primary ways that God directs our lives is not through a voice but rather through burdens and desires that we cannot shake; burdens and desires we can and must act on.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
He gave you a desire, He gave you a burden. You have been “blessed with a burden,” a burden for souls (His burden!) – A cause, a purpose, a direction for your life. In the future God may redirect your desires and your path but for now he has you where you are.
I believe that one of the most important things that we should and must do is pray and intercede over our students.
Psalm 126:5-6
5 Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.
That is what we do – we sow seed and we weep (intercede) – I believe we should all pray and weep over our students. Know that a time of thanksgiving and joy will come!
How do you think God feels to see someone walk back to the world? He weeps; He hurts. The grief you feel is what God feels. I believe He is grieving through you as an act of intercession.
Romans 8:26-27
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
27 And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
The deepest prayers you will ever pray will have no words. One student I worked with over and over again, left one final time. I wept for over an hour. I believe those tears are prayers.
I think one of the most important things you need to realize is that just because a student left the program does not mean that God is through dealing with them. We (TC) may have only been one small piece of the puzzle of God’s dealing in their lives. And even though they have left TC they cannot run from the Holy Spirit. One director I worked with used to say, “at least we made them miserable for the rest of their lives,” meaning that they can never run from the truth, from the Holy Spirit, from God’s love once they have heard and touched it.
There are many of those students who have left that you will see again because they will be ready for help and will come back. Yet, others will call back years later to share how God worked in their lives and how they are serving God today. They will call to thank you for the part you played in their lives and there are many, many more you may never know about until you reach heaven.It is very important to remember that people left Jesus’ program too, (John 6:66). Here is the link to an article I wrote on that topic a while back: People Left Jesus’ Program Too
There are graduates that will go on to live for God; their lives and families will be impacted for eternity. Some will go into the ministry and have a profound impact in the lives of others and the seed you have sown will be multiplied.
While I was writing this email I receive a call about a TC graduate who passed away this week. He graduated TC in the 70’s and went on to pastor and plant some 25 churches with thousands of lives being saved! The seed multiplied!
We do not know where the seed will fall, but we continue to sow, the results are in God’s hands, not ours. We are not the Holy Spirit and cannot do His job.
1 Corinthians 3:5-9
5 After all, who is Apollos? Who is Paul? We are only God’s servants through whom you believed the Good News. Each of us did the work the Lord gave us.
6 I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.
7 It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.
8 The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work.
9 For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building.
Also, reread the parable of the sower when you get a chance. (Matthew 13:1-23) It sounds like a lot of seed fell on bad soil but you keep on sowing, remembering there is good fertile soil that will produce a crop!
Blessings and prayers my fellow sojourners!
Think about it
- What are some things you could share that have helped you in dealing with this issue?
