We continue the series on the eight qualities that are necessary for any person to be effective in helping relationships as shared by Dr. Jimmy Lee in Understanding the Times. These qualities are a process which requires practice that will benefit all relationships. We have reviewed three of the eight qualities:
Today we look at the fourth quality: Genuineness
Dr. Lee says:
A genuine person is not a phony and does not play the role of superiority. He or she is truthful, honest about feelings, and does not wear a mask which presents a false image. Paul’s genuineness is described in 1 Thessalonians 2:5: “You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed – God is our witness.” Being genuine does not mean a person is so transparent the he or she hurts or offends people with honesty.
The quality presents a good role model. This person is consistent from day to day and does not live two lives. A genuine person does not get caught up in fads just to please others. The best example of genuineness is Jesus Christ. Paul says Jesus “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7). A genuine person’s inner feelings are consistent with words and deeds. “Genuineness implies spontaneity without impulsiveness and honesty without cruel confrontation.” (Collins, 25, 180) A genuine person is an open individual who has nothing to prove.
There’s a lot to think about in those two paragraphs. In his last statement Dr. Lee says, “a genuine person has nothing to prove.” New staff, especially interns and anyone else who may struggle with insecurity can struggle with the desire to prove themselves. We want to establish our authority, so there is the temptation to prove ourselves which often comes across as being prideful or superior. But it is important to remember that respect is earned. One of the ways that you earn respect is by being genuine.
Being genuine also means that you are not afraid to apologize when you make a mistake or don’t handle a situation correctly (such as lashing out in anger at a student or realizing discipline or correction was given inappropriately). When someone makes a mistake and won’t admit it, your respect for them goes down. When the guilty party admits they were wrong and makes a sincerely apology, your respect for them goes up tremendously. Sincere admission of a mistake and an apologizing, that is truly being genuine.
Think about it –
- Reread Dr. Lee’s comments and list all the characteristics and behaviors of being genuine.
- Which ones do you need God’s help with?
- Do you behave or act in a superior way with the students?
- Do you wear a mask?
- Are you appropriately honest with your own experiences and feelings?
- Do you apologize to the student when you realize you have misjudged or given wrongful or incorrect discipline?
