In Understanding the Times Dr. Jimmy Lee relates eight qualities that are necessary for any person to be effective in helping relationships. When used successfully these core conditions can benefit all relationships. These qualities are a process which requires practice. We have reviewed the first two qualities :
Today we look at the third quality: Respect
Dr Lee says:
People with this quality display agape love which accepts a person as he or she is. They treat other people as equals and do not put them down. Having respect for another person does not mean the helper takes ownership of the problems or rescues them from responsibilities. This quality in a helper separates a person from his or her behavior and looks beyond the sin and sees the person as being created by God.
A genuine interest is show in the person with the life-controlling problem. This kind of interest does not always provide quick answers but gives the person seeking help space to gain personal insight. The helper respects the topics initiated by the person seeking help and does not try to divert attention to the helper’s interests.
A person shows respect by understanding limitations and time restraints. There may be times when the helper must refer a person to someone else for help thus displaying respect for the individual. Every person, regardless of social or moral status, deserves respect as a human being. “Show proper respect to everyone.” (1 Peter 2:17)
OK I’ll try to go easy on this one but I have to let you know that this is a pet peeve of mine. I could spend considerable time on this topic but I will try and restrain myself. I once had a staff member who demanded that the students respect him. I had several conversations in an attempt to help him adjust his thinking, but to no avail. There is no doubt that we should train our students to be respectful and show respect. This should be done in a counseling or classroom situation. However, that is not what we are dealing with here. We are dealing with our responsibilities as staff. The bottom line is that we should always show respect to all of the students.
I’m not ignorant, I know there are those difficult students who challenge our patience. But we pray and believe for God’s strength to be made perfect in our weakness.
To attempt to discuss the specifics of how to show respect or what it looks like would take considerable time. Take a staff meeting and discuss the various aspects of the program and discuss how respect is being shown or not shown and brainstorm how it can be improved. Even discipling students can be done in a respectful way. Remember as we show respect for the feelings and needs of the students we are earning the respect of the students. We earn the right to be heard. We do not demand it.
Think about it –
- On a scale of 1 to 10 where do you rate your Respect level?
- Do you treat students the way you want to be treated?
- Read and discuss this topic with your staff.
- Discuss what steps you as individuals can take to grow in this area.
- Discuss what the adjustments may need to be made to the program to increase the respect shown to the students.
