In Understanding the Times Dr. Jimmy Lee relates eight qualities that are necessary for any person to be effective in helping relationships. When used successfully these core conditions can benefit all relationships. These qualities are a process which requires practice. Last week we began looking at the first of these eight qualities.

Today we look at the second quality: Warmth

Dr Lee says:

Warmth is communicated primarily through nonverbal ways including eye contact, non possessive touch, and body language. A congregation that has warmth will be accepting and caring instead of ignoring, rejecting, or giving a cold shoulder. Warmth is shown by a person’s concern and affection for others.

People’s inner feelings are often displayed by their tone of voice or body movement. A warm voice and a caring touch can bring peace and calmness to a brokenhearted person. Warmth communicates openness and thus lessens the defensiveness of a person seeking assistance and helps to build trust relationships. Paul states in Romans 12:10 (Phillips), “Let us have real warm affection for one another as between brothers, and a willingness to let the other man have the credit.” Warmth is nonverbal openness which helps create an environment of healing and growth in the local church.

If we expect our students to listen and grow we must create an environment where they know they are loved and accepted. Warmth is a crucial key. I tried to make a regular practice of putting my hand on the shoulder of a student as I walked by and smiling and saying something like, “how ya doin’?” or, “What’s goin’ on?”, and I would stop and give them time to comment. That simple act caused a few students to comment that they thought I was the only staff who cared for them. It doesn’t take much.

As an induction supervisor, after completing the tedious steps of induction, I would ask the new student if I could pray with them. (They always said yes.) I would proceed by placing my hand on their shoulder and praying. In the prayer I would make mention of the fact that this was a difficult transition to a new place and people and took a bold step of faith. I then asked ask God to give them peace. At the end of the prayer, no matter how filthy, sticky or scary looking the new student may have been, I would tell them welcome and then give them a big hug. Rarely did I have a student who did not cry.

Think about it –

• On a scale of 1 to 10 where do you rate your Warmth level?
• Ask yourself and brainstorm with your fellow staff members — What is one thing I can begin doing this week that will communicate warmth?