Attitude, Green Grass, Happiness, Attention and Your Mind

Changing your attitude can be as important as changing your behavior. Picking up dirty underwear is important, but having a bad attitude can compound bad feelings into bad actions. You can only change your attitude and behaviors; trying to change your spouse is like trying to push a wet noodle. Your positive changes will have a positive effect on your marriage, too.

The grass is always greener in someone else’s yard is a myth. Grass is greener where it gets watered. If someone else is watering your grass or their own . . . that’s where the grass will be greener.  Resist the myth; put your energy into making yourself and your marriage better.

Happiness is fleeting, it ebbs and flows throughout your life and your marriage. It’s not your spouse’s responsibility to make you happy. It’s not your job to be the “happiness genie” in your spouse’s life either. We all want to be happy so learn to do things for your spouse to bring a smile.

Showing attention to your spouse is obviously important. Take the time to really listen to your spouse, make eye contact and watch their body language to see how they are responding. Little things do matter; a special note, thanking your spouse for the mundane things they do dialing can bring a smile to a weary face.  Plan to do something daily for your spouse, simple things like: a handpicked flower, fixing dinner, a back rub, or any chore that your spouse usually does will show you care.

Your mind may be the most important part of your marriage. How you perceive what your spouse does affects how your treat your spouse. Your expectations for your spouse may be very different from how they believe they should respond.  Learn to use your mind to resist holding grudges, and bring up past arguments. Remember that you married an imperfect partner, but then again, so did your spouse!